Training Session 11Special Topic: Pastoral Care - Loss, Pain, and Grief
OBJECTIVES
- To appreciate the loss, pain, and grief that are often experienced in the world of athletics
- To gain competence and confidence in navigating the grief of others and pastoral ministry within that context
- To understand your own grief and a Biblical response to it
EQUIPMENT
Download
this PDF
for taking notes.
WORKOUT
Watch the following videos and reflect on the questions. You will discuss them with your coach.
People don't like talking about the challenges in life - this is a key opportunity for us to serve in a capacity in which others may not be equipped.
- How does this Sports Chaplain make you think about your role within a team, club, or athletic department when it comes to bereavement? What do his comments inspire in you? How do they challenge you?
- What people or professionals might you want to build relationships with so that you can help those in loss, pain, and grief build a network of support?
- What are some actions that resonate with you in terms of what can be helpful and harmful?
- How can you followup well?
- As we think about grief from a Biblical Perspective - how and why is it tempting to rush past grief to find meaning? What are some tangible ways that you can avoid rushing through grief for yourself? For others?
Kim is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) who has often partnered with FCA College Directors and Representatives - offering resources/training to staff and being a key referral for Mental Health care of Coaches and Athletes.
- Why would it be valuable to have a network of counselors you can call on?
- How will you begin to build a referral base of counselors? Consider going ahead and creating it or even getting to know some specific individuals.
- Are there any specific comments Kim made that you know will require action from you?
Finally, read the following two-page document that offers practical wisdom for how spirituality intersects with grief - both for the Christian and non-Christian.
As we walk alongside others in their loss, pain, and grief - it can surface unresolved or lingering emotions within us due to our own experiences. A valuable experience could be writing your own Psalm of Lament. If you would like to, two websites that might help you with this process are here
and here.
REPLAY
There are many ways that coaches and athletes can experience loss, pain, and grief - both minor to major experiences! Our role may depend on our proximity to the incident or people, our skill set, the topic, and/or if we are invited into the fray. There are many actions and words that can be helpful or harmful. Follow up in the days, months, and years to come is an opportunity to be transformational in someone's life.
It is valuable to have a referral base for counselors that are in your community and be able to make referrals swiftly and appropriately. Having a professional and even personal relationship with someone who is a counselor can yield great partnerships for sharing resources, training staff, handling crisis situations, and even beneficial to discipling athletes and coaches.
Lastly, a Biblical response to grief is one that places hope in the person of Jesus Christ rather than an outcome. It is patient with affliction and the time needed to grieve your own pain or someone else's. And it is persistent in prayer - knowing that our prayers can be real and raw like many of the Psalms of Lament.
PRACTICE
Think about a time of loss (small or big) that you experienced. Ask yourself the following questions and write down the answers for yourself. In the middle of it - what was practically helpful? What was encouraging? What made it difficult? Consider both how you handled it as well as what other people said or did.
DEBRIEF
Write a reflection or record a video answering the question: how would you like to walk alongside a coach or athlete experiencing pain, loss, and/or grief based on what you've now learned? Turn in below.
OVERTIME
- Podcast: How to Disciple People with Trauma with Heather Gingrich helps you understand what trauma is, special considerations for complex trauma, and how Christians can disciple people well who have had traumatic experiences.
- Website: Dr Caroline Leaf has outstanding research and a simple blog and podcast available
- Certifications: FCA Staff are not counselors, but may need to help triage if an Athlete or Coach needs professional care. Consider ASIST or QPR for suicide intervention, Green Cross Academy for general training, or Darkness to Light for childhood sexual abuse. Your university may offer one or more of these courses as well.
- Podcast: Brene Brown and David Kessler on Grief and Finding Meaning
- Ted Talk: We don't "move on" from grief, we move forward with it
- Book: It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand - Megan Devine
- Website: Boone Center for the Family at Pepperdine University - The RelateStrong | Leadership Series features a Summit and supporting content designed to help church leaders discuss the growing, and often difficult, topics of addiction, parenting, marriage, pornography, sexual intimacy, singleness, and depression and anxiety.
- Book: Problem of Pain and Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
- Book: On the Threshold of Hope
by Dr Diane Langberg is written for the survivor of sexual abuse from a Christian perspective
- Videos: Bereavement Support Playlist of short videos put together by Care for the Family
